Before I actually quit my job to start my own business, I thought about starting my own business for about a million years (or at least it feels like it). My friends joke that every time I talked to them, I would complain about how unhappy I was at work and how much I just wanted to start my own thing....BUT xyz. There was always a BUT, followed by a reason in my head of why I couldn't do it -- what if I failed? What if I couldn't come up with a good enough idea for a sustainable business model? What if I wasn't cut out to do it on my own?
A series of events finally led me to take the leap of faith in myself, and I'm so glad I did. I know I have a long road ahead of me, but if I hadn't ever taken those scary steps forward, I would still be where I was before..stuck in my corporate job and dreaming about the life I wanted instead of living it. The series of events went something like this...I was pregnant with my second child and working full time, with a nanny taking care of my older child Monday through Friday from 8am to 6pm. My work environment was stressful and tumultuous - we were going through what felt like the millionth reorganization and I didn't know if my boss was going to stay my boss or my group was going to stay together, or the work we were doing had any merit at all. We were going through the motions but there was no heart in it - how could there be if we didn't know whether what we were working on was going to make even the slightest difference for the company once things "settled" from the reorg? But it was the same old story -- keep your head down, do the work, and don't question too many things. That way, you were less likely to be cut when changes were made.
So I went through my pregnancy like this, and then I had my son and was on maternity leave. During my maternity leave, the company announced a MASSIVE change to their parental leave policy which essentially allowed new mothers to take 6 months off to spend with their child rather than the previous 3, DOUBLING the time you get to spend with your newborn. Awesome....but wait for it... The new policy didn't apply to me because I was already on leave. WHAT???? I had my child too early apparently, by a couple of weeks.
Even through I tried to speak to HR, when I finally was able to connect with someone of decision making authority (after 3 weeks of being ignored and passed around), I received a flat "no" we don't make exceptions to the policy as it has been written and that's that. Words cannot really describe what I felt in those few days after I heard about all of this. Anger, disgust, betrayal (after having worked somewhere for 7 years), sick to my stomach...a combo of all of the above. I had been thinking about leaving for so long to do my own thing, and this was just the final straw in the hat. To me, this inflexibility around true people policy was just exemplary of all the things that were wrong with the corporate setting in the first place. The bureaucracy, red tape, policies for the sake of policies, and inability to really change, shift and be innovative because of it (despite the front of positive PR and constant talk of being on the forefront of change and innovation, this all felt so inauthentic to me, I just couldn't stomach it any longer). I took to Facebook to vent some of my frustration and to hopefully get some attention from HR (during the 3 weeks during which I was ignored by the company only to have to get my boss involved to be able to actually SPEAK TO SOMEONE about my situation)...and to add icing to the cake - when I went back to say my goodbyes, I was told by a VP that I shouldn't stir things up or speak my mind on Facebook because of the fear of burning bridges. For real? I couldn't believe what I was hearing. This from a group that actually managed the social media for our entire business unit. I wasn't supposed to be authentic or speak my mind on social media? Ummm, right....
I walked out and haven't looked back since.
Fast forward a few months...after a serious conversation over coffee with a girlfriend, I found myself inspired to take action and finally build something that felt true to ME, and felt true to my purpose in life. That's the path I am on now, and I finally feel like I am living a true and authentic life. I am living in my truth through my work of trying to help other mothers live their healthiest life, and that feels amazing. I'm so happy to have left all of that corporate red tape behind. And if this post burns bridges? So be it. I am telling my truth and for those who have read this whole post, I hope that you too can find a way to live and tell your truth.