Since when did parenthood become a life sentence of boredom? I know that sounds a bit dramatic, but lately, I've been really feeling it. Ever since we moved to the suburbs a year ago, my social life has gone from having a ton of friends in close proximity to a big, fat ZERO. Sure, I know some of the parents from my kids' school - but everyone seems so busy, and the summer means everyone is also away at random times and it's nearly impossible to organize anything. That's the other thing - having to ORGANIZE all the time. When we lived in Hoboken, I never had to organize to see a friend. It was so easy to just text that day and see if so and so wanted to take a walk with the kids to the park, or meet up for coffee, or come over for a playdate or a glass of wine. We never had to really plan. And I never really felt alone.
Now it's a whole different story. I could go days without seeing anyone I really know - other than my children and my husband. School and camp drop off is mostly through car lines so it's not like I see or talk to other adults then. My work is solo, so I don't go to an office and talk to co-workers. My neighbors seem to go away for most of the summer so our block is really quiet. Overall, it's a pretty lonely day from the time the kids go to camp and school to the time I go to bed at night.
Yes, I have the kids in the afternoon - but let's be honest. What's the longest conversation I can have with a 4.5 year old and a 2 year old? Debating the merits of SuperWhy over Dora? And yes, I see my husband in the evenings, but even that has become so routine that I wonder where all the fun has gone. I feed the kids dinner and give them a bath, he helps put them to bed, then we eat dinner, watch some tv and go to sleep. Only to do it all over the next day. Yes, we get a babysitter once every couple of weeks and we go out for dinner - but then we come home and go to bed all worried about how early the kids will wake up or how many times they will be up in the middle of the night and how exhausted we will be.
I know I'm not alone in these feelings or thoughts. There must be thousands of women all over suburbia struggling with the same thing. So I ask again, when did parenthood become a life sentence of boredom? Well, I don't accept that it has to be this way. We only have this life to live, so we might as well infuse a little fun back into it.
Here's what I am going to do about it, and I would love your thoughts and ideas in the comments below:
1) Our next date night will not just be another dinner at a different restaurant. We have to do something more exciting - find a bar with a live band and dance for a while, find a random couples cooking class or ballroom dancing / reggae class, do an activity like laser tag, or rock climbing. We have to change it up. We need to infuse more fun.
2) Work more out of the house - try to find different coffee shops/cafes to hang out in so I don't feel so alone throughout my work day.
3) Pick up a hobby and start practicing it again -- I have been wanting to go back to playing tennis. There are a few clubs around me - I just have to do the research and find one that works for me and go play again. It would be a lot of fun to get back on the court. Maybe I could even make a few friends! (Now I understand why so many families join pool clubs over the summer - it's a way to find community and also something to do during the hot day...we didn't join this year because the kids are young and still can't swim well - I find it stressful and exhausting to be around the water. But I'm thinking next summer - this is definitely the way to go).
4) Make an effort to attend some of the "Newcomer Club" events. I went to a coffee meet up a few months ago and it was so refreshing to meet new people. But I haven't been to one since April and I didn't do a good job at the last one actually getting anyone's phone number or anything (I feel so weird doing that but now I see why it's so necessary)!
So that's that! What are your ideas/thoughts? What can parents do to infuse more fun into life? I refuse to believe that being parents means the end of fun!