As a mother, you probably would give anything for your child(ren), no matter how much it hurts sometimes. Last night, my 4 year old daughter came to us in the middle of the night, scared and crying, saying she had a bad dream. My first instinct was to bring her into bed and let her snuggle with me on my pillow until she felt better and hopefully we could all go back to sleep. My children rarely sleep in our bed and I have made a point of always having them sleep in their own rooms. However, last night she was truly scared, so I let her cuddle. Well, needless to say, she didn't fall back asleep and therefore neither did we. So, sometime around 2:30 am, I gently told her it was time to go back to her room and took her there where she insisted I slept with her. I said no, I can't fit in your bed, but I will stay and help you sleep. I patted her back, hoping she would go back to sleep so I could make it back to my room. Long story short, this didn't happen and I ended up spending the night on her floor (my son who is 19 months old, in the interim, woke up crying so I spent 15 minutes in the middle of the night also comforting him back to sleep). I knew that according to the experts, I should let her figure it out and go back to my own bed, but that didn't feel right in that moment at 3am. So, I slept on her floor.
This morning, I woke up with a stiff back and in a sour mood. My daughter could see that I was struggling and on the verge of tears, angry and tired at how the night had progressed. Later in the morning she looked at me said, "Mommy, can I rub your back?" That innocent, sweet look in her face did bring me to tears. And she gently, almost as light as a little butterfly, rubbed my back as I tried to pull myself together. My sweet, innocent little girl was growing up. At first I felt guilty, how could I be upset when she just had a bad dream and needed her mommy? But then that guilt turned into something else - I realized that I felt proud of her -- for the first time that I have seen, she recognized someone else's struggle and recognized the need to comfort and empathize. She was learning - how to be kind, how to care about someone else, and how to show affection. And I was proud of myself- no matter what the sleep experts say in terms of not giving in and staying consistent with your child's sleep patterns. This morning, I was proud that I had slept on her floor to comfort her and in turn, she learned through modeled behavior that it's OK to comfort someone when they are hurting, or scared or in need.
They really do watch everything we do. Do what you know to be right, and sometimes follow your instinct despite what the experts say. You never know exactly what lessons your child is picking up on, but you can always feel good about doing what you know to be right.